“Another 10 reasons why Gitmo should be given to Raul”

By Nelson Taylor
Ontario, Canada

With these lines, it is not my intention to praise George Bush. I have done so sufficiently in the past 8 years. I would just remind that is the absence of his leadership and staunch commitment to his people (obviously, Hollywood and Europe won’t qualify as such) the reason why it is now being discussed the fate of 245 terrorists at the Guantanamo naval base.After reading Chuck Norris’ “Top 10 reasons why Gitmo should be on Alcatraz”, I have arrived to the conclusion, with due respect to the admired karate man, that there are 10 better reasons to give it to Raul Castro. Here is my proposal: “Another 10 reasons why Gitmo should be given to Raul”.

1. Since Omaba seems determined to establish a dialogue with the enemies of USA, he may start by doing so with those who, for the past 50 years, have been subverting the international order and fooling the unwary with the “achievements of communism”, barely 90 miles away from Florida. Namely: the Castro mafia.
2. In exchange for transferring these 245 inmates to Raul Castro, the Guantanamo naval base, the only place in Cuba where iguanas aren’t at risk of extinction (except for the year in which 30 thousand of my fellow country men and women were retained at the premise by Clinton) would be returned to the Cuban state. As a consequence, millions of dollars will be saved to the American taxpayer, who is in agony as we speak about the so-called economic stimulus package.
3. Since Cuba has already been a sanctuary for international terrorists and fugitives over the last 50 years, why not let the 245 Taliban and al Qaeda members be part of the long list of black panthers, macheteros, tupamaros, Quebec and Basque separatists, Colombian narco-guerrillas, PLO, Chilean FPMR, montoneros and swindlers of all sorts that have found shelter in the Caribbean island.
4. These guys will be so preoccupied in solving the 3 basic Cuban problems: breakfast, lunch and dinner, that little energy and time will be spared for them to plan terrorist attacks once they are presented with the “Cuban menu”, better known as the ration card.
5. Once accustomed to life under communism and seeing that Cuban women won’t volunteer to be part of the harem of 72 virgins waiting for them in heaven, they will be forced to further integrate and forget their sissy-like hand touch, as popular in the Muslim world as disliked among Cubans.
6. The nostalgia for the “old times at the base” and the appreciation of the free practice of religion, sacred in the free world and non-existing in the atheist state of Cuba, will make them reconsider their intentions to obliterate people who, after all and in spite of being Judaeo-Christian infidels, allowed them to pray 5 times a day.
7. The obligation to replace Koran for the Communist Manifesto, the 5 prayers pointing to Mecca and the sacred chant of “Allah is the Greatest” for the new one “Socialism or Death”, will take them to such a severe state of depression, that they will find no solution other than committing suicide or joining the opposition to the regime.
8. Once enlisted with the internal opposition movement, they will cease to attract the attention of Cindy Sheehan and the rest of the international left, who are known to exclusively care about the constitutional rights of the enemies of liberty. As a by-product, the people of Cuba will be released of the disgusting presence of Michael Moore, who won’t be tempted to film the sequel of “Sicko” on the island.
9. Due to the torments to which these newcomers will be subjected under communism, relations between Cuba and the Muslim world will be seriously harmed, putting an end to decades of cooperation with islamo-fascist entities wreaking havoc on the free world.
10. Lastly, getting rid of these individuals will save the novice president Obama of key international political capital, by avoiding favours to allies who, despite claiming to be for the closure of the base, aren’t keen to take the hot potatoes home.

If it wasn’t because this is only a joke, that would be an advice to the White House from a neutral Cuban. So much so, that had never even considered voting for Obama, let alone having a dialogue with the Castro mafia.